File 4 - G Vampires, Denial and the Cough

Ah, long weekends.  Long weekends are the best.  That extra day, just makes the weekend feel like a mini vacation.  We were pretty excited, heading into this one.  We didn't have a lot of plans, which was a-okay by me, but we had a few.  I had finally been able to make concrete plans, with a friend of mine, to take our kids to the movies, on Saturday afternoon, and my husband had his man sleepover, on Saturday night.  The rest of the weekend was free for relaxing - cooking, baking, watching murder - you know, the usual.

And, yes, I said man sleepover.  What is this man sleepover you speak of?  It is when a bunch of dudes get together, have some drinks and food, and everyone sleeps over.  Like an adult slumber party...with dudes.  My husband was not overly impressed that I was telling everyone that he was going to said sleepover.    But I was so happy for him!!!

As they say, the best-laid plans, sigh.  The evil vampires, known as the germs that spread through daycare and school, were like "Oh, hell no!"  My 3 year old was the first to fall.  This child often has two breakfasts, so when he didn't eat more than half of one helping, we should have known.  Red flag number 2: "My tummy hurts."  Nah, I'm sure he's fine.  This is our second, so, therefore, our tough, no limit soldier child.  He's got this.  No stomach ache is going to stop him from going to the movie theater.  Then....the cough.....  You know what cough I am talking about.  It is that in between a gag and a cough, cough, ending in a little gurgle, for good measure.  You have probably done that cough, yourself.  But, if you haven't, and you are not sure what I am talking about, let me tell you, if you hear that cough, you have reached the point of no return.  The gurgle, at then end, is to tell you that you are f**ked.  To spare the horrific details, we spent the next hour, cleaning our couch, our floor, our child and ourselves.

Then denial strolls back in, like she owns the place.  My oldest will be fine.  His brother probably just ate something that didn't agree with him.  This one ate all of his breakfast and his stomach feels great (according to him)!  So, listening to the ever accurate, denial, I take him to the movie.  I mean, his brother ate something that upset his stomach, so I am not exposing all of these innocent people to the germ vampires.  Denial even said so.  (I know, I am an asshole)  I get him a popcorn and a chocolate treat and, you know, because it is the long weekend, I refilled his popcorn from my bag, when he finished it all.  The movie was great and we proceeded home, so that my husband could get going to his man sleepover.

It turns out, my youngest was not sick at all, while we were out.  I let out a sigh of relief, this was just a one shot deal.  He was not interested in having any supper, but, hey, it was the long weekend!  YOLO!  My ever resilient oldest proceeded to eat all of his supper.  We all, healthily, headed upstairs, to watch a movie.  We got in our jammies and got settled. 

"My tummy hurts".  Oh, shit.  It's okay, this is the older one, he knows how to make it to the bathroom.  Just as a friendly reminder, I go over this process with him.  He nods, in what appears to be comprehension.  We are about a quarter into the movie, when I hear it.  The cough.....and the gurgle.  Nooooo!!!!!!!

The next several hours were spent washing blankets, sheets, the bathroom floor, children's pajamas, my pajamas, children, stuffies and barf bowls.  And, also, texting my husband updates, at his slumber party.  I have to say, even though it was all exhausting, the worst parts were not being able to help my littles, in any way, and adding stress to a much needed night out, for my hubby.  Also, it is now Wednesday and my own gag reflex still hasn't totally returned to normal.

Ah, long weekends.  Long weekends are the best......  Just beware of the germ vampires, denial, and the cough.

Does Mommy need to lose her shit?

Not this week.