This weekend it was like the apocalypse hit our living room. There was fear. There was crying. There were pillows and blankets flying in all directions. It became every man/woman/child for themselves, blame and mistrust growing with every minute. No one was safe from scrutiny. As more time passed, so did the sense of urgency. And then just as quick as the panic had swooped in, it was gone. My youngest found the remote.
I should stress he found the “right” remote. Because, obviously, we have more than one. We need to have multiple remotes that can each only do some of the functions for the TV and cable. To make it more exciting, when you go into a certain feature with one, you need to exit out with that same clicker, as my parents would call it. “Where is my clicker?!?!” This deems the other controller useless, until the original one is located. Then you have to remember which HDMI or source has which thing attached to it. Next, the password. Not the password for renting movies, but the password for allowing the kids to getk onto YouTube. It is a total clicker cluster f**k!
You know what else is really fun? The remotes now have a voice command feature. Just hold down the microphone button and ask for whatever you want. Sounds great, right? Wrong. I thought it was bad enough when the boys would yell at Alexa, whenever the whim hit. Shouting over each other to hear the "Poop song" or the "Pee song". Or, the latest track on the mixed tape, the "I Love Tacos" song. Mmmm, tacos.... Now, they no longer have to ask for us to put on their shows, they just pick up the remote, hold down the button and start making their demands. "Captain Underpants!" "Kate and Janet!" Who are Kate and Janet, you ask? They are two little girls, not much older than my oldest, who have a ton of YouTube videos of them playing video games. Their net worth? A cool two million. Two million dollars! For playing Roblox and Minecraft! My kids do that for free everyday. WTF? I wonder if there is an opportunity for someone who regularly places 3rd in Mario Kart and dominates the music and book categories in Jeopardy. The Neurotic Mama's Slightly Less Than Mediocre Gaming Channel. That has a nice ring to it. Now, if only I can find the right remote to access YouTube. Sigh.
Where is my clicker?!?!?!?!
On a separate note - this is my 52nd file. That means that The Neurotic Mama Files is one year old! Thank you to everyone who has read, followed, shared, and given feedback. I can't tell you how much it means to me. I call NMF my "little blog that could" and it is because of all of you, that I keep writing each week.
The littles are one year older, Anxiety is one year more obstinate, my true crime obsession is one year more researched, and I am still thinking about eating....all....the....time.
If you want to help NMF celebrate one year, please share on any of your fave socials, groups, with family or friends. www.theneuroticmamafiles.com
Does Mommy need to lose her shit?
Not this week.
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