File 59 - Anxiety And Her Pandemic Panic

This week I am going to have to address the big bird in the room.  No, wait.  That's not right.  Forgive me, if I am not thinking straight.  Like much of the world, I have been isolated to my home.  With my husband.  And my kids.  And Anxiety.  Obviously.  This is what she has been training for.   You've seen her prom queen panic and her proactive panic.  But, this is a whole new level.  This is pandemic panic.  And she has been on her a-game, let me tell you.  It has been a real blast, so far.

With Anxiety constantly screaming all the worst case scenarios, to the background melody of Super Mario brothers, I needed to find some measure of calmness.  I decided that we should get out for a nature walk.  Get out of the chaos and into the quiet.  Let the boys run and yell.  Breathe.  Find a little peace.  Unfortunately, things did not go as planned.  We decided to try a new trail.  The boys started to complain about 7 minutes into the walk.  To be fair, the trail was pretty rough and they were in full snowsuit mode.  Also, they weren't really keen on the idea, from the jump.  Let's be honest, they would rather go on a virtual walk, with symmetrical trees and people with cubed heads.  Wait a second, maybe they have been training for this.

So, anyhow, there we were.  Surrounded by woods. The sun was shining.  The sky was clear and blue.  The air was crisp.  And we were lost AF.  Technically, we were still on the trail, if you can call it that.  It felt more like trudging through snowbanks.  We seemed to be moving further and further from the car, rather than in the loop back to the car, like we thought.  Picture the maze, in The Shining.  As time stretched on, with no trail end in sight, the littles' complaining turned into an all out physical revolt.  They collapsed where they stood.  So much for tranquility.  Anxiety showed up with her compass and her contempt.  I wondered if I should gather materials for a shelter and a fire.  Maybe a little igloo.  Or a yurt.   But, then we heard it.  A car.  We were SAVED!  My sweet babies took turns being carried by their Dad, for the rest of the way back.  I can only imagine how frazzled we looked, emerging from the forest.

Navigating this uncertain time, while Anxiety puts on her one-woman show, and my offspring run wild through my house, has been interesting.  We are lucky in that we have toilet paper and spicy Doritos.  We are thankful to live in a time of podcasts, Netflix and FaceTime.  I am learning to do yoga, while my little humans play around me, ask me several questions, and lay on my mat.  The nature walk didn't necessarily have the desired effect, but we emerged victorious.  We aren't giving up that easy.

Anxiety can take her pandemic panic and shove it.  We will take this isolation and cream?  Insert awkward, slightly hysterical laugh.

Does Mommy need to lose her shit?

Not this week.