File 70 - Out At My Shower

Showers are my new thing.  No.  Not my new thing.  I have showered before.  I mean, I shower. Regularly.  But pre-pandemic showers were perfunctory.  A means to an end.  An "I'll just have a quick shower and then...". And then on to the main event.  But now, there is nowhere to go.  No sense of urgency.  No one on their way over.  Now, the shower is the main event.

I am fully aware that this may be the one time in my life that I can go without showering.  No one is allowed to get within six feet of me, after all.  Is my hair really greasy, or is that just the way the light is reflecting on the Zoom chat? I could embrace the scent of solitude and take a break from the chemical laden antiperspirant.  Just live in my favorite MFM baseball tee, until it literally disintegrates.  Only throwing on a clean sweatshirt, if I am forced to be in a video call of some kind.  Let the chip crumbs accumulate on my shirt.  I can't say that this notion is not appealing.  I am one of the most basic, of all the basic b**ches out there.  Also, I love chips.  However, if I don't "go" to have a shower, than I don't really "go" anywhere.  Ever.

So, now I am like "I am going to go and have a shower now.  Bye!" to my family.  I try to make it sound like it would, if I was leaving the house.  That way, they subconsciously think that I have left the premises and don't come looking for me.  I would say that this technique is successful about 60% of the time.  As long as the littles don't hear the shower water running and realize that I am still around.  If they do, even if their Dad is around, they must come and ask me something or tell on each other.  Don't they realize that I am out at my shower?  I would lock the door, but Anxiety reminds me that there could be an emergency.  She really knows how to suck the fun out of my time away.

To be fair, there is nothing really exciting about the showers themselves.  I turn on the water, as hot as I can handle it, and just stand there.  I simply stare at the wall, while the hot water hits me, and listen to the sound of the shower.  I stand there until my skin turns red. I just stand there.  Alone.  In the quiet.  And it is the best.  The. Best.

Am I a little concerned that I am blogging about how a shower is my new favorite event?  Yes.  Is it possible that my mental health may be holding on by a string?  Also yes.  Could next week’s post be about how much I look forward to dinner?  Possibly, yes.  Am I questioning my seclusion sanity?  Listen, I would answer that, but I have somewhere to be.

I am going to go have a shower now.  Bye!

Does Mama need to lose her shit?

Not this week.