I have this reoccurring nightmare. I am in high school again. I mean, that is a nightmare in itself. But, I am in high school, again, and I can't seem to get my agenda or keep track of my schedule. It is always the same. By the time I find out what class I am supposed to be in, it is at the far end of the school, and I am already late. Anxiety keeps telling me that everyone is going to look at me, when I get there. I am in a constant state of rushing and panic. Then, what must be like 10 minutes later in real time, which I guess is 3 months in the post-secondary sleep world, it is report card time. And I still haven't made it to all of my classes. It is f**king horrifying. Not that my actual high school experience was all that different from this disturbing dream, but still...
That same feeling of hurried misgiving, is how I feel about managing my littles' online school schedules and assignments. Running frantically from one chromebook to another. Chromebook, groan-book. Then, the first log-in. The second log-in. The link for the class. Is it up? Is it the same as yesterday? As before lunch? As French class? Wait, are the other littles all wearing the same colour shirt? Shit. Did I miss that in the email?
But, which email? The email from last night or the email from this morning? Begin frantically scrolling through school emails. And, of course, there it is. In black and white type. Glaring back at me, mocking my aptitude as a parent and overall merit as a human being. F**k! Wait, did I say that out loud? Scan the spare-room classroom, both babies have their headphones on. Phew. Late after the litany of log-ins and wearing the wrong colour, but oblivious to their mama's momentary misspeak. Okay, everyone settled, now to the dining room office.
Foot steps running across the ceiling. One of the students has exited the classroom. They didn't post their assignment. Which assignment? We did post an assignment, last night, didn't we? Was it posted to the wrong class? The wrong place? The other pupil appears. They need scissors and construction paper. And something that starts with the letter "f". I don't think it is appropriate to suggest the "f"word that immediately comes to mind.
And so goes the nightmare, I mean the week. Don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with the organization or effort from the teachers. They have been rockstars in this ever changing environment. There are just a lot of things to keep track of - emails, logins, links, assignments. Escapees. And, just like in my nightmare, I am afraid that tomorrow is going to be report card day. And we are all going to get a big "F" word. At the very least, I am going to damn well ensure that they make it to all of their classes.
Does Mommy need to lose her shit?
Not this week.